Terra Nova drinking game

October 3rd, 2011

If you are foolish enough to watch the new show Terra Nova, you may be interested in this drinking game I’ve invented.  It will likely make the show more enjoyable.

If you see a scene that is a direct rip-off of Blade Runner, Earth 2, Jurassic Park, 12 Monkeys, Stargate, the Riddick cycle, The Lost Boys, Gattica, or any British dystopian sci-fi show of the last 40 years: Drink.

If you find characters directly ripped off from same:  Drink.

If that character has the same name as the one they’re ripping off:  Drink twice.

If that character is played by the same actor as the one they’re ripping off:  Drink thrice.

Any time a child exhibits science/technology skills far beyond their years: Drink.

Any time the ratio of injured/killed brown to injured/killed white people exceeds 2.0:  Drink.

Any time an episode breaks for commercial, or ends with a character-developing or foreshadowing one-off line:  Drink.

Any time a vehicle is outside the gates at night (when the deadly creatures are most active) but doesn’t have doors to protect the passengers:  Drink.

Any time a character hints that they know a secret:  Drink.

Any time they show bogus survival skills (such as a spark igniting a whole-log camp fire):  Drink and weep.

 

You can really just pick 2-3 of these categories and get good and schnockered.  Play with the full set of rules and you will likely have to take the following two days off work.

San Francisco conditions

September 18th, 2011

The America’s Cup World Series concluded its racing in Plymouth, England this morning with a fleet race win by Oracle 4′s Jimmy Spithill.

The wind all morning was in the high 20s, gusting over 30—tough conditions for the AC45 catamarans.  One sail racing website described this race as “plenty of high drama and antics“.  The official race commentator dubbed today “Survival Sunday”.  Collisions and capsizes before the start, more collisions and capsizes during the race.  Artemis Racing’s bowman, Andy Feathers, fell through the wing sail of their boat on their final capsize.  Mayhem!

And what did winning skipper, Jimmy Spithill, have to say about the day?

“We had a bit of San Francisco conditions.”

The extreme racing conditions they saw in Plymouth are kind of what people expect from races in San Francisco bay.  We had identical conditions for 4 days during the Rolex Big Boat Series regatta which marked the end of our fleet’s racing season.  Compare the recap above with this montage from our end-of-season regatta.

Different kind of boats involved, but everything else looks pretty much the same—mayhem.  I can’t wait for next season.

Narrators Matter: Redux

September 4th, 2011

Back in March I wrote about how important it is to have a good narrator for an audiobook.  I’m here to tell you that it still matters.

I recently got sucked into George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” series.  I saw the HBO series based on the first book and liked the characters so I decided to get the books to find out how it all ends up.  Per usual, I got audiobooks.  I throw them on my iPhone and play them at 2x speed and listen while I’m going to/from work, or doing chores, or whatever.

The narrator for the first three books in the series is Roy Dotrice.  The man is a great voice actor.  This series has a ridiculous number of characters spread out over many lands.  He did a fabulous job of giving each region an accent, and giving each character a distinct voice.  Absolutely fantastic.  Not that it matters, but the guy also looks the part!

Picture of Roy Dotrice

For reasons unknown the producers switched to a different voice actor for book four, “A Feast of Crows”.  This narrator is John Lee.  He is terrible!  The guy has one delivery for everything.  Everyone sounds the same.  When there are scenes with a lot of rapid back-and-forth dialog I can’t tell who’s talking.  It’s driving me nuts.  To make it worse, this recording is 31 hours long.

I constantly wonder why it is that producers make choices like this.  If you read the reviews of this recording you find that it is universally hated by everyone.  The whole fan base who got the audiobook is begging for it to be re-released with Roy Dotrice narrating.  Ugh.

Fortunately Roy returns as the narrator for book five (and hopefully any future books).

p.s.  In my first post on narrators I mentioned that the absolute best narration of all time was Rob Inglis’ reading of “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Silmarillion”.  You can’t imagine how thrilled I was when I got a comment from someone who had been one of the proofers for Recorded Books who worked on those editions.  Wow.  I really wish I could have seen one of his one-man stage performances of the books.

An English Man of Action

August 31st, 2011

“The nation that will insist upon drawing a broad line of demarcation between the fighting man and the thinking man is liable to find its fighting done by fools and its thinking by cowards.”

—General Sir William F. Butler, “Charles Gordon”, MacMillan, 1889

Old Tongue

August 30th, 2011

Old Tongue
by Jackie Kay

Life Mask, Bloodaxe Books, 2005


When I was eight, I was forced south. 
Not long after, when I opened 
my mouth, a strange thing happened. 
I lost my Scottish accent. 
Words fell off my tongue: 
eedyit, dreich, wabbit, crabbit
stummer, teuchter, heidbanger,
so you are, so am ur, see you, see ma ma,
shut yer geggie or I’ll gie you the malkie!

My own vowels started to stretch like my bones 
and I turned my back on Scotland. 
Words disappeared in the dead of night, 
new words marched in: ghastly, awful, 
quite dreadful, scones said like stones.
Pokey hats into ice cream cones. 
Oh where did all my words go — 
my old words, my lost words? 
Did you ever feel sad when you lost a word, 
did you ever try and call it back 
like calling in the sea? 
If I could have found my words wandering, 
I swear I would have taken them in, 
swallowed them whole, knocked them back.

Out in the English soil, my old words 
buried themselves. It made my mother’s blood boil. 
I cried one day with the wrong sound in my mouth. 
I wanted them back; I wanted my old accent back, 
my old tongue. My dour soor Scottish tongue. 
Singsongy. I wanted to gie it laldie.

Quote

August 19th, 2011

“The human dead also bore in their gizzard pebbles from a land the maps ignored.”

— Julian Barnes, “Arthur and George”.

Summer Keelboat

August 15th, 2011

I sailed in the San Francisco Yacht Club’s Summer Keelboat regatta this past week.  As usual I was on my friend’s J/120, Twist.  However, whereas I normally work mid-bow, this time I was the bowman.  Saturday was utter chaos, Sunday was nearly flawless.  I guess if you average them out then it was a good weekend of tough competitive sailing.

Saturday’s forecast was for SW winds in the 5-15 knot range, building to 25 over the course of the day.  In the middle of the afternoon you could see the fog rolling in creating tons of pressure.  The sailing was very technical, and my bow work was not all it could have been.  I’d like to make excuses and say that 40% of our ten person crew were alternates, and lots of people were working positions new to them.  But that’s the easy way out.  I just didn’t lead the bow team through the heavy weather.  Other than losing someone overboard I think we had every kind of bow screw-up I can imagine.

We ended up exploding a spinnaker, let the jib go overboard and then dragged it for a while, had some ridiculous wraps, horrid rigging tangles, and even pulled a jib halyard out of the mast (not an easy job to re-reeve).  The most consistent problem was on the jib douses.  More than once I had neglected to work the bottom of the luff out of the pre-feeder so when it came time to douse I couldn’t work the luff out of the foil fast enough, or it would flake above the pre-feeder requiring me to do twice as much work.  Feh.  Experience will sold that problem, but I felt like crap every time.

The whole crew worked hard and we certainly earned our dinner that day.

For every way in which Saturday was an embarrassment, Sunday was perfection.  The wind was a touch lighter, and the sky was a bit sunnier, and all of our boat handling was outstanding.  Sails went up, sails went down.  It was like clockwork.  The bow team worked really well together and it was just great.

After a night of despair I woke up feeling great (sleeping on the boat is so good for my spirits) and just knew that we were going to have a great day.  Communication was great, the sailing was great, boat speed was great, weather was great.  Everything was great.

After our final race we returned to the club and sat in the sun in Tiburon, debriefed, and then just sat and talked for a while.  I could not have asked for a better way to end the regatta.

Then there was the trip back to San Francisco.  The wind picked up, settling in the 20+ range for most of our ride back.  I was at the helm, and the direction of the waves required very active steering.  Half the time when we’re heading in or out you can sorta just sit there and rest your foot on the wheel and casually go about things, but this was work.

I had been eyeing a container ship for quite a while as it made its approach down the west side of the bay.  After I passed out of the lee of Alcatraz it was clear that we were not going to have room to safely pass in front of the ship.  Ugh.  The skipper and our pit-man went down below, and I headed upwind into the crap so that I could take the ship’s stern.  I had a wet and bouncy, but totally fantastic time.  I was soaked at the end but had a grin from ear to ear.

 

Steering

Here you can see one of many waves that decided to take up residence in my shorts.  What you can’t see is that the cockpit sole is covered in broken glass—and I’m barefoot.  I won’t elaborate.

Anyway, I parked the boat, we finished cleaning up, made a list of boat work needed for the next regatta, and headed home.

Pride

May 3rd, 2011

Gaudete!

I’m happy to announce that Primo got a magna cum laude (3rd place winner) on the National Latin Exam.

Amateur night

April 25th, 2011

I do my laundry at Brainwash.  It’s a laundromat/cafe, and for years has had live entertainment in the dining area.  Sadly, the entertainment is mostly in the form of open-mic comedy nights.  Such a night was tonight.

Normally I don’t like to sit too close to the microphone because it’s painful to watch the exceedingly not-funny n00bs trying to sort out their exceedingly not-funny routines.  Every week there is the usual litany of why their life sucks, how they can’t get laid, omfg what is up with San Francisco, date rape, regurgitation, uninformed takes on current events, etc.

Well, the last table left tongight was right in front of the mic.  Oh dear.  I sat down with my fish and chips, and prepared for the worst.  I didn’t have to wait long.  The third entrant of the night was Miles.  Four minutes into his five minute allotment Miles just stalled.  Drew a blank.  Choked.  To give him credit, he did exactly what you’re supposed to do: he looked to the audience for inspiration.  He picked me:

I bet you work in tech.

Yes, I do.

Can you get me a job?

Can you write code?

No.  But I can write tweets.

We already have a person doing that job.

You pay someone to write on Twitter?

Yes, they’re our Community Manager.

So, uhm, can you hook me up?

No.  I’m afraid you’re not qualified.

Why?  What skills do you need to write in 140 characters all day?

You have to be very funny.

 

It is my pleasure, and sadness, to announce that I got the biggest applause of the night.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.  Be sure to tip your waitresses; they work hard for the money.

J/Fest

April 10th, 2011

Just finished a two day regatta, and I’m exhausted.  That was the hardest that I’ve had to work on the boat since I joined the crew of Twist last year.  If you know anyone writing a book on bruises, I would be a good model for it right now.

The event was J/Fest, where all of the J-Boat classes come out.  We were in the J/120 class, and the J/105 and J/24 classes were there too.  It got pretty crowded out there.

Saturday started light.  Sunny, clear blue skies, and almost no wind.  We had to fight for every little bit of boat speed we could get.  But then it started building.  And Building!  By mid-afternoon it was blowing 25 knots with gusts around 30.  The fleet switched to smaller spinnakers and our last races were amazing.

Rather than fighting for boat speed, we were fighting to run our maneuvers cleanly.  We rounded-up once, everyone got soaked, and we got back in the game.  Everyone stayed on the boat, and at the end of the day we all had huge grins on our faces.  The hot shower, dinner and drinks at the St. Francis Yacht Club afterward were extremely welcome.  After dinner and the prize raffle I went back to the boat, put on an audio book at 7:30, zonked out, and slept for 11 hours.

Sunday’s wind was tame compared to Saturday.  We stayed pretty consistently in the teens for wind speed.  It was good technical racing.

The SF bay J/120 fleet is pretty awesome.  Throughout the whole regatta the fleet stayed in a pretty tight pack.  Everyone is improving and it’s pushing the quality bar higher.

I’ll be out of town during our next two regattas, so that’s it for me until June.

J/120 Twist in sequence